I Am Blessed

All that I am
All that I ever was
Is here in your perfect eyes, they're all I can see

So it's a month into summer and I already miss Luther already. Not only do I miss being away from home, but I miss my friends and the atmosphere of the school. Being home is not quite as bad as I thought it would be; I just spend most days working out, reading at Barnes and Nobel, and working. Not too exciting but it lets me keep my sanity for the most part. 

A while ago I started thinking about the kind of guy I was going to marry and, due to the guy I was dating at the time, thought that I could make anything work. But now I have discovered how big of a mistake that was, one that I regret ever day. I am, however, trying to not place things into a regret category, but to just learn from them. I figured out the kind of guy I want and need and stopped looking for him, believe that God would lead me to him on his schedule, not mine. I was so fixated on figuring out my future that I tried to take it out of God's hands. As soon as I realized this, He lead a wonderful guy into my life. After just 2 months I have found that I can't imagine my life without him. He's literally everything I ever wanted in a guy. He builds me up, never tearing me down, and is helping me to grow in my faith. Through every bad time he's there to put a smile on my face. When the whole world walks out on me, he's the guy that walks in. I have found my fairytale.

I have also realized that I am a trusting person to a fault. Looking back on past posts there are some things I wish I could delete because they were lies told to me, people I lost respect for, ones who lied, and memories I wish I could erase. But like I said before I am trying to show agape and live by TEC. I am just thankful that I have friends (a few from home and many from Luther) who I know truly like me for who I am and won't betray me. I believe now more than ever that everything happens for a reason and that there is a beautiful plan for me, I just need to listen. 

Another thing I have thought about recently is the difference between being lucky and being blessed. Though I do not see myself as a generally lucky person, I know that I am blessed. I am blessed to have the people I love in my life. Saying blessed, to me, gives God the credit, taking it out of the earthly realm. 

I'm just going to keep living my life for myself in God's image and the way he wants me to. agape.