Carpe diem, seize the day, make your lives extraordinary.
Recently I realized that I've been severely neglecting this blog! When revisiting it, I realized that I have had a sort of life changing view. I previously said that I was changing throughout the past year but in a lot of ways it was mostly talk. Starting now I am going to tweak a lot of things about my life, not really making life shattering changes but small things here and there. Things that really matter. One of those things is that I've decided to blog more. Now this may be every other day or at least one a week. I think it will be a good way for me to evaluate my progress, especially since I'm fairly certain no one else reads this.
I have recently, mainly over J-Term, realized that I need a severe attitude adjustment. A good friend helped me to realize this. I know in my heart that I am a fairly pretty, smart, fun person, but there is something inside myself where I can't quite believe it, even when people assure me of such. I am still not yet sure how I am going to go about it but I definitely need to make a change here so I don't drive away friends and miss out on meeting new people. Although I know the problem is something to do with my perception and internal thinkings, I also believe that my friends from high school largely added to this problem. From people putting me down almost every day to some of us saying we were awkward, I really took it to heart and it is something that is difficult to get rid of.
Another thing I have been thinking about a lot is what I believe. My religion class and friends, mainly Jamie, have really got me to think about religion vs biology and about environmental issues. It is something that I'm really going to have to think about and am not quite sure where to turn to get help. I have realized recently that I am very influenced by other people, which isn't always a good thing. This even goes for my mom. We get along so well and I always value and take to heart her opinions and advice, but recently I have seen that it has negatively affected some aspects of my life. I am getting to the age where I truly need to look inside myself and to God to find the answers.
Over J-Term not only was I given a lot of time to really think about my life, I also read somewhat of a life changing book. I picked up Eat, Pray, Love mostly because I heard it was good and I wanted to read the book before I saw the movie, but it ended up mean much more than that to me. I really connected with the main character and need to look back and really think about the lessons I learned from that book.
I have many visions about who I could, should, and want to be but I am not yet sure how to make all these converge into reality. I am going to try to stick to this blog as a way to keep myself honest about what I am truly doing and to hopefully record my progress as I grow into who I truly want and am destined to be.
February 28, 2012
